Your Last Night In Los Angeles…

It’s no secret, I have an unhealthy love for Los Angeles. It’s a city of many interesting people, art, tacos, trash, flash and class all at once. It’s fake, and I love things that are fake (no really, plastic is one of my favorite materials.) I love the chaos on the freeways. I love the business and the fact that even at 4am on a Wednesday people seem to be going somewhere, doing something.  It’s a city of dreamers and people that have been broken by their dreams. No one is a native in Los Angeles. You can go there and become someone else entirely. Maybe even disappear for awhile.

I used to go to Los Angeles ALOT. When I was 18-23 I lived about an hour away by freeway and could just go for the hell of it. And I did. Often. I would just get in my car and drive there to listen to KROQ and walk around Hollywood. Or we’d blast down there for a concert. Or to go dancing, since there are actually clubs that play things beside hip hop and you can get into them legally while not 21. Sometimes I’d just want to eat Thai food.

About five years ago I moved to a city that is 200 miles away from LA for work. 3 1/2 hours on the road is a long way to go on a whim. So my very frequent trips to Los Angeles stopped. I still managed to get down there every few months though and didn’t feel like I lost the feeling I had being there. And I still had friends there to crash with if I wanted to stay a day or two. So whenever I wanted to escape from small town life and just be a face in the crowd, a rocker chick at a bar or see a show that would never come  here, I could just go.

Things change I guess over time. Gas got more expensive. Friends moved on. I now live with someone who thinks that LA is the worlds biggest FAIL and I probably couldn’t drag down there with a team of horses. (It’s okay he loves San Francisco, and I have only had ONE good time there and it ended with me sleeping in a suitcase in Berkeley but that’s another story.)

The last time I was down there was for the Foo Fighters/Against Me! show back in March. I went with a friend from work and LA is still very much there, which was a relief to me, but because we weren’t staying the night down there, I didn’t get to hit my old haunts or even just drive past them! I did get my Thai food fix at Toi Thai. Not to mention I still knew how to get from the Forum to Sunset Blvd without getting on the freeway, which earned me bonus points with my friend who was driving. I got to listen to KROQ and heckle this new bastardization you all have down there that is 98.7. It was a nice trip, but not my usual LA experience, being as it didn’t end up with me sitting in the gutter on Sunset or vomiting on the stairs at the Rainbow (again, another blog for another time.)

Also, really wtf is going on here with these?

The thing that’s depressing to me though is this: It’s not that I don’t get to go down there and party and play anymore. I think that the thing that is depressing to me is that at this point in my life, I might not even enjoy it. I am starting to wonder if small time life has ruined me forever and I’ve comepletely lost my drive for “more, everything, NOW”

I guess I just feel old. Or I finally found my real spiritual home.

Jesus I have been living out here too long, I sound like a fucking hippy.