life aint nothin’ but bitches and money
So last night I ran into an old friend at the show I went to. And he’s of course going through some bullshit, everyone is this year. And we chatted about that last night and I’m sitting there looking at him and he’s creative and funny and attractive and all the things all girls I know are looking for. And he’s having babys mama drama and the rest of the shitty things that 2008 has to offer and I’m just baffled.
Ladies, let me tell you something: When you have a child with a man and that man wants to be a part of that child’s life, you motherfucking let him. I have a couple of male friends who have children and are having a hard time getting to be around their kids. And it’s not like these are wife beaters or even verbally abusive men. They’re just wonderful, caring men who want to help raise the life they created. And they are constantly being kicked by the women who they made this life with. The most common reason is money of course. Or just getting a kick out of holding something back from someone you feel has slighted you.
As a kid from a divorced family, let me tell you something: Using your child as leverage or as a chess piece is bullshit and you just shouldn’t do it. No matter what you might think of your ex, unless they were abusive or a drug addict, your child should have access to them. Because for every guy I know who just wants to be around his kids, there are 50 dudes that will knock up a woman and just run the fuck away. I have a great many girlfriends in that boat too.
All I guess I’m saying is all men aren’t dogs. And I’m sick of watching the ones who aren’t total douchebags being kicked around.
Confidential to a couple of you:
M- You are an amazing person and a great father. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’m so proud of how you handle the wee one and so glad I get to watch it. Who would’ve thought?
R-Listening to you talk about your kids last night was kinda beautiful. I never would’ve guessed that about you and I think it’s great. They’re gorgeous (duh) and you’re a really good man. But I always knew that anyway.
My ex-husband has shit-for-brains. He’s wasted his life away on drugs. He finally got busted, spent 2 months in jail, and when he got out he had a rigorous, strict routine to follow as part of his 5 year felony probation, which included regular urine tests, AA meetings and house arrest. After many months of supervised visitaion, I gradually allowed him to have more lenient visitation with our son.
Didn’t take long for him to fuck it up, though, and now he’s back in the pokey. My heart breaks for the void in my son’s heart that can only be filled by a daddy.
When I hear stories of moms who manipulate their kids just to spite the dads who are actually worth a damn, it makes me sick.
Please send kudos to your friends on behalf of a mother who knows. There are too few of them in the world.